It’s hard to know where to start this blog. It has been quite the year! I finished up a contract with the Arts Council around a year ago and, after struggling to secure a job, I thrust myself into the world of self-employment (by force rather than choice)! And thus began a real year of adventure and discovery as I started to grow my own business - oh yeah, and a baby at the same time. My lovely little boy arrived in May and my pregnancy happens to coincide with the first 9 months of self-employment. And so, I’ve separated my experience into the three trimesters I journeyed through, and the postnatal period I’m currently in. Read on to find out what work I got up to, and how I managed growing a business and baby.

The thing is, when I think of what it is to 'be nice' in society, particularly as a woman, and even more so as a Black woman, it is to be unremarkable, to fit in and to go with the tide. Raising your voice, causing ripples, bringing attention to yourself, goes against this kind of behaviour. No, being nice is to step back in order to let others shine. For a long time this was where I was most comfortable.

Who we are seems so defined by how others see us. But if I spend my life trying so hard to be the version of myself easy for my audience to accept, when will I get to be me?

My hair is so much more than just hair; it’s representation of all the years women with Afro hair had to hide it, or were taught to dislike it. Now I embrace it because I am proud of my Black heritage and my ancestors. I refuse to be ashamed because they deserve so, so much more than that.

I ask for paper so that I can write. My fingers have been restless at the sight of possible creation. My brainwaves giggle as they anticipate what is to come, and the world seems a little brighter.